Author: Contributor

  • East of Heaven

    East of Heaven

    Tom Vater

    The town was covered in reddish dust. A nickel mine operated near-by and everyone worked there. Thanks to the rain, the dust clung to everything. Sam and I had been travelling south from the Palawan capital Puerto Princesa for several days, on a series of Jeepneys, the Philippines’ all-purpose pubic transport vehicles. Sometimes we got seats and ate driving rain through the open slats of the passenger section. When the sun was out, we clung to the roof, along with bound chicken and pigs and ate dust. At a stop half-way down the island, a piglet in a rough rice sack made a valiant break for freedom and hurled itself along the hot tarmac down the road we’d just traveled, panicking, leaving a trail of shit and laughter from its owners behind. They caught the poor creature soon enough. There was no escape. There was no freedom. Not for pigs anyway. 

    We’d been sitting in front of the town’s all-purpose kiosk for three days. Every now and then I bought a smoke, stood under the kiosk’s awning to make sure it wouldn’t soak and inhaled furiously. The cigarettes were called Hope. A piece of rope smoldered by the kiosk’s counter all day. That’s where I got a light. And a dirty look from the old crone who ran the place. Behind the kiosk, the town stretched away into red mud. A couple of disintegrating wooden warehouses populated by armies of rats sold the basics – rice, noodles, alcohol, and bullets leant into the daily deluge. Beyond these exhausted malls, a couple of hundred shacks and a handful of ugly concrete buildings made up the rest of the town. We slept in one of the concrete buildings which rented four rooms, mostly by the hour, above a karaoke bar. The nickel mine lay beyond a barbwire gate just outside of town, guarded by men wearing Carrera sunglasses and carrying pump action shotguns. 

    No one was happy here, and no one was ever going to leave. Except for us. That’s why we were so popular. 

    Once in a while I ambled down to what passed for the jetty, a long line of loose planks stretching across the placid water of the small bay that the town lay in. Vultures perched on the rotting posts that held the jetty together, plumage dripping. A couple of catamarans, their wings skeletal and fragile on the dark green water, lay tied to the posts. There was no one on board. Beyond, black clouds rumbled silently across the angry gun metal sky. The coconut trees on a couple of small isles a mile or so out to sea bent in the rain, threatening to fly off into the churning sea beyond.

    The boat to Balabac, the one we wanted to be on, should have left a couple of days earlier, but the rain had been too strong. There was a storm out there lashing the ocean like a devil. This is what Mr. Gabunilas was telling me. Mr. Gabunilas lived on Balabac, the the Philippines’ most remote, most southern island, a nest of outlaws allegedly, that young, entitled adventurers with too much time on their hands needed to visit. He was about sixty, a skinny man with fading Christian tattoos on his arms, a legacy of his years fighting with the Americans against the Japanese in WWII. Mr. Gabunilas was partial to a bit of hope himself, and so we periodically stood next to each other under the kiosk’s awning, smoking, while he would give me an update on the lack of updates. 

    It was that time of day and I strolled from our room to the kiosk through light drizzle and purchased the day’s first increment of Hope. The old woman scowled when I pulled the rope to my smoke. Mr. Gabunilas was next to me before I could take a drag. I nodded to the woman for another Hope, but he waved me off, his eyes on fire. 

    “You’re happy to leave, no, Boss?”

    I nodded carefully. Everyone called foreigners Boss around here, apparently in reference to Bruce Springsteen. Male foreigners. 

    “Sure, happy to leave, we’ve enjoyed all the sights in town.”

    Mr. Gabunilas grabbed the cigarette off the old crone, lit up and left, waving at me emphatically. I hadn’t seen anyone here with this much energy. 

    “Today, we go. The boat will go. We will leave,” he shouted and disappeared behind the malls. 

    An hour later, the boat captain and his crew showed up. They wore grim expressions as they passed us and began to load one of the catamarans with petrol, ice boxes and plastic sacks of instant noodles. A small crowd gathered by the jetty, half hidden under garish umbrellas. The vultures were nervous, their pink necks quivering like something that was about to die. The sky looked the same as it had for days, wet and angry. 

    Mr. Gabunilas arrived, a tattered rucksack slung across a shoulder, eyes alight as if he’d experienced a religious epiphany. He guided us down the rickety jetty with a great show deference and even helped load our bags onto the boat. The small crowd, who turned out to be, like Mr. Gabunilas, from Balabac, followed us with visible trepidation. Fifteen minutes later, we set off towards a darkening sky, southwards, the catamaran almost loaded to capacity.

    We skirted the bay and headed off the Palawan coast into the South China Sea. The town and with it, its torpor, quickly faded into the moist afternoon gloom. Soon the waves rose and there was nothing but water around us. A couple of sea gulls that accompanied us turned and headed back the way we’d come. The boat’s engine roared. We harked on across ever larger troughs, ravines and summits of water. The night came quickly and we sat in almost complete darkness, under a single bulb fastened to a leaky stretch of tarpaulin above our heads. It rained hard enough to knock out flying fish. Black water rushed at us from all directions. The catamaran heaved. It creaked. The passengers began to pray. 

    I turned to Mr. Gabunilas. 

    “Do you often travel like this?”

    His face was drawn and pale. He shook his head emphatically.

    “So why did the boat head out tonight, if the weather was still bad?” Sam shouted at the old man to make herself heard. 

    The roar of a full-blown storm lashed the catamaran and everyone onboard with fury. A couple of children behind us started crying. The captain switched off the engine. We were adrift. 

    Mr. Gabunilas shook his head sadly.

    “You said you wanted to go, right, Boss? I told the captain the foreigners want to go. He looked at the sky, but he also needs to make money. You know the storm will pass, don’t you? It will pass, if a foreigner decides to travel on this boat, right? We all trust you, that you make the right decision, right?”

    His concern gave way to hope then and he smiled at us beatifically, wiping rivulets of water and spray from his face, “With foreigners on board, we will reach our destination, God willing.”

    ***

    ©Tom Vater – Asia based writer, publisher & editor.

    www.clippings.me/tomvater

    www.tomvater.com

    https://th.linkedin.com/pub/tom-vater/38/520/ba0
  • Being Here, Now

    Being Here, Now

    Martin Bradley

    Metta Metta Metta

    Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

    Phenomenal city, Angkor, Cambodia, clutches grateful stationary traveller to gracious bosom. Held tightly, succoured, kept safe from all harm, pandemonium, in nowness past/future constituting irrelevancies.

    Majestic ancient city, Angkor, its Wats preside, city of peace, saffron monks, carved stone, apsara angels, sunrises, tangled roots man and nature.

    Before day rush dawn whispers meditavely.

    Bird murmuring orange blue morning, bamboo stem silhouettes sway momentarily. Cloud wisps don pink cloaks against eggshell blue. Wat Damnak dawn chants spreading Metta, Karma, Dharma recollections.

    Gentle gamelan vibrates through freshly diurnal blue skies. Occasional white clouds wander tropics overseeing day’s arrangements. Sun incandescently smiles.

    Now stationary traveller, behatted, promenades past sweet jasmine, frangipani, grilled bananas, street coffee perfuming air, smiles, slight bow greets alleyway family opposite Hospital for Children, offspring in hammock, mother prepares boiled rice, samlor soup, prahoc, moves aside, traveller passes. Solitary save for whispering birds, secret, coy, Khmer children smile. Stationary traveller ventures through once laughter-ridden alleyways spread between bustling Samdech Tep Vong Street, Wat Preah Prohm Rath, The Passage, Covid global sadness silent closed or closing, torn A4 rent, sale, contact……vacant for canine dreams. 

    Alleys upon alleys once people bright, vendors, toe nibbling fish tanks, lanes become ghost alleys, remembrances of Bayon, Angkor Wat,Tonle Sap Lake visiting hipsters, students, new agers, families, lovers playing at raiding of tombs, shapely in shorts, leather walking boots apsara posing, painting red piano, yellow submarine, purple mango, blue pumpkin. Smile not reaching eyes. Selfie taking ego fanning charity acolytes pumped with goodness not Covid returning.

    Out, Street 9, chilli salted cockle vendors, hot grilled chive cakes sellers, Psa Chas bound, tuk tuk, motor cyclist, cyclist avoiding, secretive market bursting forth fragrant essences, kaffir lime, lemon grass, fish wort, coriander. Bright fish eyes watch dimmed candle lit narrow aisles, porcine snouts, bovine tails, feet, livers, hearts of chickens, purple octopus. Khmer purveyors, straw heat wearing sun wrinkled faces project welcoming smiles, marble eyes bright. Kuy teav noodles, pork broth, beef slices, deep-fried garlic,herbs, breakfast soup lost in translation. 

    Slim Khmer vegetable selling angel ever smiles with eyes, profers king oyster mushroom, enoki, galangal, turmeric, customer pulls garlic, ginger, carrots into metal pan, extracts fresh flat rice noodle into dish, pays, leaves for plastic bag of one kilo rice.

    Steung Siem Reap, leaf strewn, azure sky reflecting bridges watching anglers. Scoopy processions carrying brief reflections of damsels, long black hair, faces soft blue paper masked, travelling over bridges, beyond to families, college, work, secrets and lovers.

    Sun kissed bright mornings merge into golden orb drenched drying days, bringing breeze, bamboo taps on kitchen mosquito screen, inescapable warmth. In white painted rooms, browning ceiling fans slice air caressing hirsute arms, scent of Jasmine joss. Sun browned white fingers type on hard black plastic keyboards, pause, reach for frosty glass ginger water. Fingers drip welcome condensation cool. 

    Khmer pasts, Khmer futures begat times of cleansing, thunderously saturating equatorial rain. Night streets glisten iridescently proudly revealing momentary clarity, splendour. Tu tuk drivers press through rain onslaught. Tourists too few to deny.

    Cooler Krousar (family) Café evening encountering International School English teacher nest, stunning ebony type-dancer, brown eyes, hair recalling Henrix. Siem Reap haven for strong North American females, Irish Catholics, Metta bums replacing Majid for Wat. Night walk return, intermediate neon reveals pot holes, Street 27 sleeping dogs left to lay, grilled fish scents, barbecue spiced meat, red ants. This night Khmer star abundant skies grace stationary traveller with cosmic splendour.

    Metta Metta Metta

    Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

  • The Two Suns

    The Two Suns

    Joss McDonald

    Winds are blowing from the north-east today. The small seventy-seater plane sways from side to side as it descends towards the tiny runway. A tarmac so small, I contemplate whether the plane could be whisked right past the end and into the sea that borders it. 

    The plane lands safely. 

    I unclench my hands from around the armrests, unbuckle my seat belt, and gather my belongings. Outside, an auto-rickshaw awaits to take me to the jetty. Thirty minutes later we arrive, albeit minus an actual jetty —

    I follow my driver as we weave past some dogs, through what appears to be somebody’s yard. The dogs bark. They seem worried I’ll be a threat to their loot of garbage strewn around the dirt. 

    We arrive at the water’s edge where a longboat is waiting to carry me to my destination. A boy takes my carry-on suitcase. It turns out he will also be the captain. I gingerly climb into the boat. I am his sole passenger. Packed around me is the clean linen we stopped to collect at a laundromat on the way here. 

    Thankfully, the tempered wind has lessened. We head across the peninsula. The boat rocks back and forth- the top of the sides almost kissing the water more than once. As we enter the bay, the ocean becomes tranquil. Before me a white beach, dotted with palm trees, glitters in the sun. Secluded behind that is where I’ll be sojourning. 

    The journey has taken an hour. When the longboat pulls close to shore, I gather up my skirt, ready to be christened by the shimmering blue sea. Then, stepping onto the beach, the sand molds itself around my feet. It will become my shoes for the next few days.

    Paradise.

    I arrive at lunchtime. A table is spread with local cuisine. Instead, I’m drawn to the scenery that captivates and encompasses me. I look outwards, peeking through the trees, at my view of sparkling turquoise. Gazing to my left, a longboat sits perfectly framed between two palms. The waves, softly lapping a few meters in front, are hypnotic.

    Having only recently recovered from Dengue, travel and the bumpy flight have taken its toll on my body. The serene beauty of this location soothes me though. It is the balm I didn’t know I needed. I could sit here forever in this reverie.

    Day turns to evening. On the beach I watch the sunset. The sun burns crimson, it’s reflection seared across the water. A strip of water looks like it could be on fire. -A yellow flame that fans out to orange, fringed with red edges. Slowly, the sun lowers itself behind a mountain. 

    Winter monsoon will last another month. The heat of next season hasn’t begun to build yet, so the night air is cool. I put on a jumper to sit in the open-air restaurant. After dinner and wine, I head to bed. The pillows are like cumulus clouds that lull me to sleep.

    My alarm chimes to wake for sunrise. I climb out of bed, step out of my room and onto the balcony. Over the bay, the sun is competing with itself, trying to eclipse last evening. A hint of magenta is everywhere I look- the sky, the beach, the ocean. Fishing boats’ motors are humming at shore. The rise of the sun illuminates the oxcart that is arriving to carry away a night’s taking.

    Soon the sun is fully up.

    I float a few feet back to bed. This 18 degree morning is frigid now that I’ve become climatized to living here in South-East Asia. I swaddle myself in my duvet and reflect on what I have beheld. I smile and I declare sunrise the winner of the two suns. What I have witnessed was not a dream. For I have been blessed to hold court here with both.

  • THE KINGDOM

    THE KINGDOM

    Nick Marx

    “Go lightly on your journey. Leave no footprints in the sand.

    The path that you are treading is on someone else’s land.

    There’s no problem with your presence. Glad to have you passing through.

    Please take comfort on your journey, and I’m sure you’ll love the view.

    Take nourishment and shelter, but use only what you need,

    Do be gentle with the creatures and don’t fell too many trees.

    There is all that you could want here, on the land, in woods and streams,

    But be careful on your travels, it’s more fragile than it seems.

    There are many gone before you who have caused no small distress,

    Though it’s someone else’s property they’ve left a fearful mess. 

    The damage that they do could maybe soon obscure the sun – 

    And I’ve heard the birds and beasts are now all leaving one by one.

    It isn’t theirs to vandalise – nor yours – so please take care

    On your journey through a property so plentiful and fair.

    You ask me where you travel, and the name we give this land?

    We know it as “The Earth”. It’s all we have, please understand.

    Now you want to know the Landlords, those you feel you ought to warn?

    We all journey through The Kingdom of the Young Ones Not Yet Born.”

  • MY WORD WITH GOD

    MY WORD WITH GOD

    Nick Marx

     And now as I aspire to stroll about Your Globe once more,

    Deliberate and slow, picked myself back up off the floor,

    Now I’ve lost so much of value for what seems a pointless plan,

     I now hope that I’ve become an infinitely wiser man.

    I’ve been punished for a crime I saw no choice but to commit,

    The penalty severe, no other option but submit,

    And now I know although my life may never be the same,

    And also know that some might say I’ve just myself to blame,

    I’m clear, despite events, there’s not a chance I’ll ever change

    As I travel down a path that is to me a little strange.

     I still rage at the injustice dealt lives other than my own,

    My fury aimed at deeds I know the gods will not condone.

    And now finally I see that there’s another side to pain,

    And hope You’ll not request I go through similar again,

    When next I seek assistance, and before You heed my plea,

    I ask You’ll care for other beings needing help far more than me.

    Now that You’ve created man, Your vagabond, Your sick buffoon,

    Only creature in the Universe so sadly out of tune.

    Increasing his own numbers, desecrating all he needs,

    The solution to his problems – create more mouths he cannot feed.

    Now his thoughtless self-obsession is so total and complete,

    Matched only by his all-consuming cruelty and conceit,

    As he causes constant mayhem, yet still asks for a reprieve –

    Not a coat of many colours, his own straight-jacket he weaves – 

    As he prepares one last assault upon this green and vibrant World,

    With his hands around his weapons of destruction tightly curled….

    From every creature on the land and in the air or in the seas,

    From antelope and anteater to wasps and bumble bees,

    From moth and fragile butterfly to porpoises and whales,

    From majestic golden eagles to partridges and quails,

    The next time that you hear his cries, to “Save him if You can!” 

    Please tend these other creatures before You next look after man.

    Now I’m re-entering this World from an eternity of rain,

    And now factors of importance come to focus once again,

    And now we’re absolutely certain we’re the only ones to feel,

     So determined that our self-inflicted scratches You should heal,

    And now our ears no longer listen as through sightless orbs we peer

    Along a road so straight and true, down which we’re far too blind to steer,

    I ask, “Is man the potentate or just some crazy loon?”

    And am I but one more as I emerge from my cocoon?

     From every fin and every feather to each tiny tuft of fur,

    From every terrifying roar to soft contented purr,

    From gently waving tentacle to shiny, silver scale,

    From every iridescent wing to long prehensile tail,

    From fang and bill and mandible to canine tooth and claw,

    From trunk, and horn to cloven hoof or softly padding paw,

    When next you hear the pleas, both from myself and other men,

    Before You see to our abrasions ….. care for them.

  • Torrential

    Torrential

    Sam Plummer

    Torrential, sun-streaked

    Drawing across the paddies like a veil

    Buckling banana leaves and awnings.

    Kaleidoscopic pagoda roofs cascade into lily ponds

    Nourishing paddies, revitalizing rivers.

    Life-giving and eternal.

    Torrential, lightning-blitzed

    Smothering the city like a shroud

    Scattering motorbikes and lives.

    Thundering off veranda roofs to shatter the neon reflections

    Flushing sewage, plastic and dreams.

    Dark and ominous.

    Torrential.

    The monsoon tests our lives.

    Washing our bastions downstream

    to be reclaimed by culture

    reclaimed by nature.

    It’s torrential outside

    sisyphean and miserable. 

    I shouldn’t be alone.

    I should be with family, friends

    comfort and cheer

    to deflect the hopelessness

    of building monuments in foreign lands.

    Instead, a pen and a bottle of whisky.

    Who else can save their souls? Save mine?

  • A Smiling Idiot in an Indonesian Village

    A Smiling Idiot in an Indonesian Village

    JR Sinclair

    I had never been completely on my own, relying entirely upon myself, until I travelled overseas in my early twenties. Being alone among people I did not know, while also realizing that no one knew exactly where I was, gave me a euphoric sense of freedom. I was keenly aware of the feeling because it was so intense that at times I wondered if I might not be going a little bit crazy: I would catch myself with a silly grin on my face, not a look of joie de vivre, but unadulterated joy like the smiles of Evangelical Christians who have clearly been provided with all the answers, and are so ecstatic about the lack of uncertainly in life, that they use facial expression to share this feeling with the entire world. 

    This monstrous happiness would usually coincide with me being not entirely certain where I was, but not lost, because I was exactly where I wanted to be. To onlookers I must have appeared like just another stoned backpacker, but I was as straight as a die, just thrilled by the process of breaking a mould that no longer quite fitted.

    While in the throes of my newfound freedom, I would play this little game when I arrived in a new town. I would ask myself, ‘What kind of person will I be today?’

    To go along with my chosen personality—be that an introvert, an extrovert, or whatever took my fancy—sometimes I even adopted a new name, but that became complicated when I met people I wanted to stay in contact with. To avoid the embarrassment of explaining to those people why I was not who I said I was, my name changing became confined to my first and middle names: some days I was John, some days I was Ross, and  occasionally I was even John Ross.

    Such feelings of freedom reached their zenith one morning when I was on a local bus travelling between two provincial towns in Central Sulawesi. I was looking out the window at what seemed like the middle of nowhere when all of a sudden I shouted, ‘Stop!’

    The people on the bus seemed surprised and somewhat bemused that I would want to stop in such a place; there were no houses or people anywhere in sight. The bus driver kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to get off.

    Up until that point in my life, a rural road in Central Sulawesi was the most out-of-the-way place I had ever been. 

    After the bus roared off and the dust settled over a natural stillness, I noticed a small track on the uphill side of the road. The track was clearly not suitable for larger vehicles, but there were signs that motorbikes and oxcarts used it, so I figured it must lead somewhere. It was a dirt track with rough fields on either side, where jagged tree stumps and smouldering piles of wood were interspersed with recently planted cassava stems. 

    I started walking up the track and ended up following it for several days.  

    Later that afternoon, and in the afternoons that followed, when I came across a village at a time that seemed like a sensible hour to stop, I asked for the Village Head. After a short negotiation to agree on a price, the Village Head took me to one of the villages houses where I stayed the night. 

    The houses were simple 1-2 roomed dwellings with iron roofs, walls and floors made from rough-hewn planks, with the only modern amenity being light from a single Butterfly lantern hung in the centre of the main room. Food was cooked on wood-fired stoves in a separate building, where the women worked while the men talked.

    The evening meal consisted of rice and vegetables with a little meat. On my first night, a single tin of curried chicken was opened and placed beside a bowl of rice in front of me. It was such a small tin, and there were so many people in the room, it was almost impossible to take only my fair share. 

    Evenings involved sitting on the porch with the family exchanging more smiles than words, except with the old people, who assumed I understood everything they said and proceeded with long one-sided conversations.

    One Village Head seemed particularly pleased to meet me. If the whole experience had not seemed so otherworldly, his roguish grin and humour-filled eyes would have been sufficient warning that he was up to something.

     We sat on a mat together in stilted conversation while his wife served us cups of tea and sickly-sweet cakes.

    Not long after my new friend established I was Christian—if I could communicate it I would say ‘raised a Christian’ and let people assume what they would—another man joined us on the mat with a young woman I assumed to be his daughter. 

    I sat and nodded and smiled not understanding 99% of what was being said, and certainly not understanding anything about what was happening. It was not until the third father and daughter, in a procession of fathers and daughters, that I began to suspect that these young women were being presented to me as prospective brides. 

    I could pick up the odd word in the sentences of the men; their daughters did not say a word. My suspicions were further raised when a sentence directed at me, with accompanying gestures directed at the young woman, had a word I recognised. 

    The word I recognised was, ‘love’.  

    With patched-together phases from my dog-eared phrasebook, I confirm my worst suspicions that I was indeed an eligible bachelor. 

    I must have seemed uncomfortable, yet the men could hardly contain their pleasure at the proceedings. The young women seemed less pleased by the goings-on as they flushed red with either embarrassment or anger.  

    The last of the young woman to sit on the mat—I shut the occasion down by lying about my marital status—was the only one to look at me and she studied me intently. When we made eye contact, she did not seem entirely repulsed. I wondered if she was sizing me up as an option to escape from a place where women were offered up to strangers. But then, that was possibly not what was happening at all, and I may have completely misinterpreted the entire situation. 

    It would not be the last time. 

    In every village I visited along that track I was asked my religion. 

    Muslim villages were no less friendly, but in them I did not seem to be considered an eligible bachelor.

    (The Muslim villagers were part of a grand scheme called Transmigration designed to ease the population pressure in far-off Java. Transported to remote often marginal frontier places, families were given land and supplies and left to eke out a living as best they could. The Christian villagers were rural poor from Sulawesi pushing into the forest in search of a better life. I planned to return to the area to work with a local conservation group, but the project was scrapped due to an outbreak of communal violence: the Christian and Muslim villages had subjected each other to the most horrific attacks. At the time I was first there, I would not have believed something so gruesome was possible. By the time I heard the stories, I had spent several years in Papua New Guinean. I had seen there the incredible potential for violence between neighbouring villages of different cultures that, to an ignorant outsider, appeared very similar, but in their reality share little in common other than deep-rooted mistrust and animosity)

    While I sat and drank sweet tea in the mornings before heading back out on the track, I would watch the men of the village heading out into the forest with chainsaws and air rifles. Under the Suharto dictatorship at the time, it was illegal to own firearms, so Indonesians made ingenious homemade air rifles; not the slug guns and bb guns of my childhood, but weapons capable of bringing down large birds, monkeys, and even small game. 

    I saw birds and lots of butterflies, and occasionally I heard a group of monkeys in the distance, but my walk was not the wildlife experience you might expect when so close to tropical rainforest. 

    The track I followed mostly skirted the edge of the forest, and walking along it was the first time I encountered tropical rainforest rapidly retreating to the sound of chainsaws and the smell of burning wood.  These were sensations I would experience repeatedly in the years that followed, and ones I have spent the last 30 years trying to stop, at least at the industrial scale. 

    The track eventually landed me back on another road—or it might have been the same one I had left several days earlier—where I hailed a passing bus, that took this smiling idiot, further along the road…

  • The Monsoon Inside

    The Monsoon Inside

    Josh Clayton


    Awake,
    Blue sky,
    Clear headed, step away
    From the a/c room that shows no trace,
    Of the oppressively humid day,
    And the reality of everything still to face,


    Deep breath,
    Rev bike,
    Could be a nice day,
    Cool breeze against skin,
    “Maybe it stays that way” you say,
    Ignoring the monsoon that waits within,

    Hard work,
    Keep going,
    Clothes get heavy with sweat,
    Are those clouds you see in the distance?
    Did I prepare for a day that is wet?
    Is that doubt seeping into my conscience?

    Fake smile,
    Push back,
    Hope that somehow the dam won’t break,
    And it stays sunny throughout the day,
    Maybe it won’t be more than you can take,
    Though you don’t believe the words you say,

    Failure,
    A waste,
    Everything you planned unfinished,
    Black clouds now cover the sun,
    All confidence diminished,
    No choice now but to run,

    Leaves fly,
    Dust swirls,
    Vortexes formed in the gale,
    Batter the eyes from every direction,
    No rain jacket or poncho, again, a fail,
    The first drops fall as tears form in your vision,

    Lightning,
    Thunder,
    With fury the skies rend in two,
    The monsoon inside now unchained,
    Within seconds soaked right through,
    Unable to feel anything but pain,

    Plod upstairs,
    Nothing matters,
    Drenched clothes slosh to the floor,
    Where no one can see you cry,
    Hidden away behind a locked door,
    Alone as the monsoon rages inside,

  • The Riverbank

    The Riverbank

    Laurence Stevens

    A riverbank and a conversation between father and son sets the scene for this ‘Monsoon Solitaire’ entry from Laurence Stevens.

    The mountains surrounding the river were thick with trees and mottled dark and bright green from where clouds blocked the sun. The river ran smooth, shining like a rink of rippled brown glass. Close to the bank the fishing boat bobbed in the water and was tied to the bamboo jetty by a length of frayed blue rope. The boat’s chipped white paint had been baked pale yellow by the sun and a brown water mark stained halfway up the hull. On the deck, the father lay snoozing underneath a stringed tarpaulin as he awaited his son. 

    The roar of a dry motorbike engine filled the yard. The father turned his head and saw his son lugging a trailer of rattling wooden planks and tools with the rusted 87’ Honda Dream. Chickens clucked and flapped through the cloud of brown dust the bike left in its trail. The boy pulled up next to the riverbank and turned the key in the ignition, killing the engine in a splutter.

                “Did you find everything?” said the father.

                 “Everything,” said the boy.

                “Did they understand you?”

                “Of course,” said the boy.

    The father got up and stretched out his arms. A weak breath of wind stoked the breeze as he stood, and the dry wood of the boat creaked as he descended the ladder to the jetty.

                “Throw me a beer,” said the father.

    The boy opened the orange plastic cooler, plunged his hand into the iced water and grabbed a semi-frozen can of Angkor Gold, throwing it to his father. The father cracked open the can and drank. It was slushed with ice but went down his gullet refreshing and delicious.

                “What do you know about boats?” said the father.

                “They float and take you places,” said the boy.

                “That’s the short of it,” said the father.

                “I don’t think this boat will, though,” said the boy.

                “Why not?”

                The boy looked at the boat.

                “There’s too many holes, and the wood looks rotten. When it rains, it’ll sink.”

    For 20 years, the former owner had sailed the boat into the Gulf of Thailand to net mackerel and longtail tuna. The fisherman’s sinewed body had been tanned a dark brown by the sun, and he’d been glad to be rid of the boat so he could settle on land to grow mango and short fruit. 

                “Holes can be patched,” said the father, taking another swig of beer.

                The boy’s face hardened.

                “I think it’s sailed as far as it can go.”

                “Maybe, but the winds will turn soon, and she will sail upriver, renewed. Mark my words,” said the father.

                The boy’s eyes rested on his father.

                “What?” said the father.

                “Nothing,” said the boy. “But why do we have to leave and go up the river?”

                “There’s nothing here for us son, not anymore.”

    “But what about…” said the boy, looking back towards the yard.

    “It’s ok,” said the father, placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “We can’t stay on the riverbank forever. I am old, but you will soon be a man, and the world is that way,” he said, pointing upstream.

    The boy looked from his father’s shimmering green eyes to the fishing boat that had been whittled by storms and high seas.

    “Maybe she’ll sail, if we fix her properly,” said the boy.

    “She will. Now, help me with the tools,” said the father, smiling.

    The father and the boy walked to the trailer. The father grabbed three lengths of timber and a metal toolbox from the trailer, throwing the stack of timber up onto his shoulder with ease.

    “Bring the hand plane, we will need it,” said the father.

    The boy picked up a tool shaped like a shoe, with a circular brass handle at either end, one slightly larger than the other. As they reached the boat, the father stopped and waited by the ladder.

    “Welcome aboard,” said the father, holding out his hand and motioning the boy forward.

    The boat sank and swayed under the boy’s weight as he climbed the ladder and boarded. It was a strange sensation that seemed to treble in power as his father clambered aboard after him. They set the tools and planks down on the deck, its pale-brown panels run smooth from decades of trampling footsteps. On the bow a gaping hole looked like an escape hatch and deep grooves from the pull of ropes pitted the stern. There was much work to be done, the father reflected.

    “When will we leave?” said the boy.

    “Soon. The fish spawn in upland lakes when the river’s low, but when the rains return, and the rivers rise, they’ll spread. We’ll catch them for food.”

    “But what about the storms?”

                “Storms make the trees drip fruit, and the frogs come out their holes, and snakes follow to feast upon them. Our larder will be full by the time we reach the city.”

                “Will it be the same when we go upriver?” said the boy.

                The father paused and grabbed the hand plane. 

                “No, it will not. And it will not be easy.”

                “Then why leave?”

                “Do you wish to stay here on the riverbank for the rest of your life?”

                The boy looked away to the mountains. The shade of green grew darker as the afternoon approached.

                “No, but why can’t we go downstream to the sea? We can go the beach, and fish for tuna and stingray, like usual. We can swim in the ocean and sleep each night under the stars.”

                “We head for the city. One day, you will come back the owner of this plot of land, and then you can holiday by the seaside. You will need to take care of…” 

    The father’s voice trailed off as he looked back toward the yard. 

    “We all have a journey we must take,” said the father, returning his gaze to the boy. “Come, pass me the tape measure. We will need to patch the hole on the bow.”

    “You won’t leave me once we’re there, will you?” said the boy.

    The father stopped and stared at his son a moment.

    “I can only promise that by the time I leave, you will be ready,” said the father.

    “Ready for what?”

    “For life, my son, and for wherever it leads you.”

    The boy looked to the mountains. They were dark green.

  • Owls of the Eastern Ice: A Quest to Find and Save the World’s Largest Owl

    Owls of the Eastern Ice: A Quest to Find and Save the World’s Largest Owl

    Author: Jonathan C. Slaght

    Reviewer: Greg McCann

    A book about owls? Sure, owls are cute, they’re cool, they’re even interesting—but read a whole book about them?

    Okay let me put your mind at rest: first, this is a book about the study and conservation of not just any old owl but the world’s largest: the Blakiston’s Fish Owl of the Russian Far East . This species is found only in the mountains and valleys along the Russian Sea of Japan coastline, in Hokkaido, Japan, and perhaps in a small corner of northeastern China. And equally as important, when a book is about nature conservation, it’s almost never exclusively about the natural history and ecology of that species alone. What you get in Owls of the Eastern Ice is so much more—colorful and often hilarious portraits of vodka-soaked village life in remote outposts, adventures involving gunning cars across raging rivers at just the right angle in the hope that the current can carry the vehicle downstream and land it on the other side where the washed-out road should be, and jungle dramas involving tigers, deer, and, of course, the topic at hand: the Blakiston’s Fish Owl. 

    The owl, in addition to being huge and having a dietary preference for feasting on the fresh masu salmon of remote Russian rivers, must be one of the worlds most beautiful birds. Its “electric yellow” eyes blaze from beneath of pair of pointy, tufted ears on a body of luxurious and billowy, creamy-brown feathers that seem like they could hide a person’s body.

    At one point the author, Jonathan Slaght, climbs a tree to have a look in a nest, flushing the “glowering” female in the process. He conducts a quick check, photographing a newly hatched chick, and twenty minutes after he’s back on the ground and, he thinks, a safe distance away. Then, turning his binoculars back to the nest and its mother finds himself “meeting her direct stare at ten times magnification.” 

    Personally I relished Slaght’s portraits of the eccentric Russians living in this little-visited corner of the world. He meets hermits who sleep in wooden pyramids for the alleged “power” that can be (so they say) harnessed by dozing off in these Egyptian-like structures, while also encountering many scenes in which the effects of vodka have intoxicated the entire population of a village.

    In one episode told by the author—who has dedicated his live to the study of the bird—his scientific team drive by a home in which a man is shouting from behind the glass of his living room window, gesticulating and jabbing desperately in the direction of the home’s front door. Slaght’s friend and fellow researcher Sergey reluctantly unlock the front door—from the outside—and: “The man exploded out like a long-caged beast. The jerky, frenzied motions of his dash past Sergey, through the yard, and into the street indicated a mind too hysterical for any coordination.” Sergey explains moments later: “His old lady locked him in so he wouldn’t go drinking.”

    I attended Slaght’s 2017 talk on tigers, leopards, and the Blakiston’s Fish Owls in Minneapolis in 2017, and his passion and dedication helped to spur my interest in birds. Back in January this year, before Covid-19 disrupted international travel, I was in the mountainous jungles south of Lake Toba in Sumatra, where we encountered four massive, critically endangered Helmeted Hornbills, which we both heard and saw. It was a rare privilege and an exquisite pleasure to hear this species’ maniacal call-cackle overlaid onto the primal growls of Rhinoceros Hornbills gliding in to a perch, along with the frenzied chants of Siamang gibbons, somewhere in the distance. Indeed, these days when I’m in the field I find myself equally excited to spot birds as I am to discover what type of mammals that have appeared in front of our camera traps. 

    Owls of the Eastern Ice was recently “long-listed” for the 2020 National Book Award, and I feel that now, more than ever, when tens or hundreds of millions are shuttered up in lockdowns amid the pandemic, that this is the time to learn about the mysterious and little-known fellow creatures of our planet; to explore from home about far-flung regions where creatures such as the Blakiston’s Fish Owl live. It is also the time to learn about, cherish and reignite our love for local wildlife—something my son and I did as we bought binoculars and spent many a morning and afternoon birdwatching in the suburbs of Buffalo, New York state, earlier this spring. Maybe, just maybe, with books like Slaght’s to read, and with extra time to appreciate the natural world, we’ll all come out of this the better—both people and the planet.